Mike Whooping Sal and Toby's Ass

Funny As HELL, Especially If You Hate the Red Sox

This is one tough Bastard!

Toby (pictured) can take on anyone at any time. You want a piece of him? Meet him on the corner of Rosamond Blvd and United at 9 pm sharp. Bring your singlet with you.

Toby is a serious contender on the next Ultimate Fighter and buys all his gear from www.taporsnap.tv.

So you better bring your "A Game"

A Mexican Vacaciones

This is a visual of what happens when you pack up your whole family that resides in California into you new Suburban. That bears California plates, cross the border into Mexico and drive into the deep deep deep South of the country. While in said country, with your California family in your California car you make a simple wrong turn, the Federales catch you in your illegal act and take all the money you have in your possession. If you defy them and say no to such Fedeales, you can be a cellmate with little lonely Raphael, a.k.a. "V".
Dont drop the soap!

Whats Your Name?

You can generate any name you want. You want a Japanese Name? How about being a Brit for the day. For all you Harry Potter freaks be a witch, and get your name. Sometimes when you are drunk, you act like a retard, you should have a name for yourself, so other drunks can get ahold of you. That is important. If you decide to become a pscychopathic killer, you need an alias, use this. I know people that think they are superheros, when they want to go out and save the world by fighting crime, where do you think they got thier name? If you miss your childhood, and want to call people names like back in grade school, here is a great tool. And my favorite is for those people who think they are Eminem, well, get your Eminem name too!!

Have You Seen This .... Thing

If wants to see this man/thing in action. Hit up the airframes shop in Edwards.

Urban Dictionary

While trying to find the meaning of the word "Hot Carl", I came across the website Urban Dictionary. Now if this is not the best tool in the world, someone give me a better one. Awesome. Just try it. Type in anything from dandruff to gangsta lean and you will see what I mean. Funny as hell.

Some searches of note:
S On my Chest
M&M's and Buttcracks
G String
Hershey Highway

Enjoy

Bruce's YAMS

This guys name is actually Bruce Yam. And can it get any better than finding his Yam's.

CLASSIC

Soriano to White Sox

In a completly amazing development, it seems that Alfonso Soriano could be traded to Chicago. Fine by me. But where in the HELL is he going to play? LF, nope that is Podsednik. CF, maybe, I guesss yo can move Anderson to the Bench, because he sucks. RF is Jermaine Dye's and 2nd base is Tadahito Iguchi (God Bless You).

This would be a badass lineup though:

1. Podsednik CF
2. Soriano LF
3. Thome DH
4. Konerko 1B
5. Dye RF
6. Crede 3B
7. Pierszynski C
8. Iguchi 2B
9. Uribe SS

The SOX would score 7 runs per game, but with that staff, give 8.

24

I just finished watching the FOX TV series "24" season 1. Although the show holds interest, and has some actioned packed moments, this shit is stupid (dont ask why I want to see season 2). Does anyone get tired? In this alternate reality series, it seems no one gets tired. In a made up world that hollywood is, dont you think that maybe hiring a makeup artist to help with this mightbe something that is invested in. Also, how can there be this many dumbass humans working in a government unit. There are dumb people in the government, but come on, not this dumb. If I am going into a situation where like 15 people in my unit have already been smoked, I would definatly have my weapon at the ready and off safe. Not in CTU. If I am being chased by terrorists that have kidnapped me because my super agent husband is a target, would I run away and hide when I do have the chance to, or would I back track to only get caught for the 11th time. If I finally did escape, where would I go to try and reach a safehaven? It most definately would not be Echo Park in the LA ghetto to the house of my original kidnapper who has already broken his probabtion. How come everytime a CTU team is sent into hot area against 1-4 enemies, the entire CTU strike team gets eliminated. Finally, if I am starting a show about a super agent who is above the law, extremely smart and ultra skilled in counter terroism and reconassance, is Kiefer Sutherland someone that comes to mind. Not really. Gimme a break.

Remember these 3 things about Jack Bauer:

1. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

2. Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants

3. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30

Arch Nemesis

Once again I wake up in the morning and I find that my dog Snoop will not comenear me, does not want to be fed by me, would rather hold in her urine for as long as it takes rather than actually going out a door opened by me.

I find this frustrating because I have done absolutly nothing to the canine, and she acts as if I beat her daily.

If there is any human out there that knows how to make this dog stop freaking out, urinating in the house for no apparent reason, growling at nothing while on the floor and staring at the carpet, running around like a total crazy beast, slapping everything in her path around with her tail, and generally acting like a total retarded moron. Leave me a meesage.

Creepy Tim the "One Upper"

This guy for some odd reason thinks everything YOU have done, he has done AT LEAST one time better.

For Example:
Leon: Man, I went out the other day and was dumbfouded when I saw this hot chick. She came over and talked to me. I was doing everything in my power to humpstab. But I only got to third base.
Creepy Tim: Dude, I had that happen to me last night. But I went all the way. And then when I was done, I went back and hooked up with 4 other girls, AT THE SAME TIME.

Please fool, PLEASE!

Mike

Sal

For some reason I have to deal with this guy on a daily basis. He seems to want to talk about nonsense on a consistent basis. Makes no points worth a shit and for some odd reason does not think he is ever wrong.

If he is ever seen, BEWARE. He might try to eat you.

Mike

Hello People with Nothing to Do

Whats up. This is my first post, so read it, and wonder why you did. I will be in touch.

Later,
Mike